Race for the cure

So next weekend I will be doing the race for the cure in honor of my grandmother. I am really excited and it should be lots of fun. I have already raised $375.00 for the cause. Thank you to everyone who donated.

sleeping

Yesterday Sam fell asleep sitting up in her crib. I snuck in and got the video camera and taped it. It was so funny. You know when you're falling asleep and do the head jerk and start to sway that's what she did for like 5 minutes and then she just fell over and was out. To bad it didn't last she only slept for 30 min. all day yesterday...she has a cold and is really congested and can't breathe when she lays down so I have held her all night for the past 3 nights. what a thankless job i have sometimes.. it's all worth it though. Leah is still telling me every night before she goes to sleep that she's sorry i lost my kobe...it's so heartbreaking... i miss my little guy.

Sam's 1st Birthday party

I love this party hat i think it's so cute...we did a little family get together last weekend to celebrate sam's birthday. The moms were demanding a party. She had a cupcake with her daddy and a stirry-stirry with her grandma and had fun with her presents.

Sam's 1st Birthday party

Finger painting

Now doesn't that look like fun...get them naked and let them paint. they loved it...

Fat cat in a little bag

This cracked me up so I thought I would share it..Big Tom (named well for this case and point) got in my camera bag all on his own. He totally didn't fit and it was hilarious...:)

Kobe

When Kobe was cremated they made this footprint before. It is so sweet and makes me cry. I love to touch the little indentions where his foot last laid. I miss you so much words can never express the sorrow in my heart. i love you little one...

Today was one hell of a day. and not in a good way. Sam had an appointment with a pediatric surgeon this morning. She has two hernias ambilical and ventral. I thought we'd go in there and she would say surgery in maybe 2 years but she didn't. She said surgery now...so Sam is going to be having surgery in a month. Oct. 9th...I am totally freaking out...this is my baby going under anethesia and being cut open and sewn back together and I am scared to death. I could puke. Then I get home and call the vet because they haven't called me about Kobe, and they said his ashes were in which hit me in the gut again. It just makes it real that he's not coming back, not that I thought he was but it just hurts all over again. So I have spent my day crying over my two babies. What a shitty day....

Meet Bryant

So here is my story of fate. I have been heartbroken ever since I lost my precious Kobe. My mom and I went yardsaling this weekend. We walked up to this one house and I overheard the lady talking to someone else about her dogs in the window so I being nosy looked over to see her dogs and they were maltese and I happened to have Daisy with me. which I usually don't take her out all the time. We got to talking and I told her about Kobe and we talked for a while and she then told me her dogs had just had puppies. and then she told me there was only one left and he was a boy. I said are you kidding me and she said no and I asked her if i could see him and he was more than adorable. I brought John back to see him and then went back by myself that evening. I know I'm psycho that I went to a complete strangers house three times in one day but there was something about this dog that i couldn't shake. He didn't make me stop missing Kobe but he transitioned my grief. He makes me think of when Kobe was a puppy and how darn cute he was. So I had to get him...I believe that Kobe put this little guy in my path to help me move foreward. I was content to be sad for the rest of my life and wasn't looking for another dog at all so I really believe this has been all the work of my little angel Kobe...So now meet Bryant...

My Kobe necklace

the back of the necklaceThe front. My friend Shannon made this necklace for me and I love it more than you could ever know. It puts my baby right next to my heart and that's where I always want him to be, except to take it off to shower and Kobe always hated having a bath he wouldn't even sit in there while I took one because he always thought I was going to put him in there too...So I think he'd be happy to not have to take a shower with me everyday! It's been almost 2 and1/2 weeks and i'm still missing him like crazy.

My Blue eyed girl

I don't know how i got a kid with such beautiful blue eyes, but i did and i'm thankful for those little eyes that greet me every morning and the smile to go along with it. amazing!